Stoke City are preparing for their first visit to the new Wembley Stadium and the first F.A Cup Semi Final in 39 years but this blog is taking a tongue and cheek look into the players personalities and how they will be preparing for the game against Bolton Wanderers.
Starting with the Goalkeeper- Thomas Sorensen: I expect 'Oh Tommy Tommy' to be walking the dogs whilst mentally mapping out the Wembley pitch, its dimensions and predicting what the Bolton strikers will be doing. Overall a vastly experienced and real leader in the dressing room.
Right Back: Andy Wilkinson: Youthful local lad, eating chips on the way home from training ready to play Call of Duty Black Ops. This boy will be on a mission to get into Europe either via the FA Cup or X-Box.. hero in the making, cut him in half and he's red and white stripes.
Centre Back (Captain) Ryan Shawcross: Still very young and still learning his trade as both a player and captain, he has been a tower of strength since leaving Man Utd and what an opportunity to play his former club in the final, what's the betting he'll say to Namanja Vidic- I'm better than you and run away giggling.
Centre back: Robert Huth: The colossal German defender, unbelievably still overlooked by his national team but the highest scoring defender in the Premier League with 8 goals. His aerial ability is unquestionable. I expect Huth to be lifting huge frozen pigs in his garage before watching Rocky for the tenth time.
Left Back: Marc Wilson: trying to fill Danny Higginbotham's place who was tragically injured against Chelsea after scoring a thunderbolt free kick to get Stoke to Wembley against West Ham. Will be tough but the Irishman will play a soothing game, foot on the ball like he's calmly downing a fine Guinness in a Dublin bar.
Right Midfield: Jermaine Pennant: Once the diamond studded playboy footballer but now a family man who has found his manager and found his fans. He is now a fully fledged member of the Bash Street Kids and now Dennis the Menace has become a good boy.. expect great things.
Central Midfield: Rory Delap: The now iconic 'Rory's gonna get you' long throw sends shivers down opposing defenders and goalkeepers spines, the Bolton penalty area will look more like a kids party filled with a million balloons so Jussi Jaaskelianen could have a nightmare or two. A Delap howitzer will just be the tip of the iceberg as this man will run like Forest Gump around the pitch all game- a gentleman and true professional.
Centre Midfield: Glenn Whelan: The diminutive midfielder blessed with the ability to shoot from distance and pick a pass hasn't been seen much this season but on his day this school boy will pass through a cat flap. The vast Wembley pitch will bring the best out of the lad.
Left Wing: Matthew Etherington: Once a gambler owing half of the east end thousands, now a sublime player with electric pace and commitment levels that put him in the England frame. No call up from the poor national coach but Tony Pulis looks after Matty and he looks after him. Could be the man to run the length of the pitch like an Olympic distance runner and bring home the gold a year early- are you watching Lord Coe?
Striker: Kenwyne Jones: I expect Kenny J to be preparing with his West Indian friend Ricardo Fuller enjoying some jerk chicken listening to Bob Marley, they will both almost miss the train but like all mavericks he will take to the game still eating his lunch and jump higher than any mortal man can to reach glory.
Striker: Jon Walters: At first fans didn't know much about him and with the likes of such illustrious names as Tuncay and Gudjohnson away Jon had his work cut out. Walters is now a full international and top Premier League player through sheer hard work and commitment. He is a builder come foreman and now the man Pulis looks to when he needs a grafter. Walters its your day and you have earned your stripes my friend.
Subs:
Striker: Ricardo Fuller: He is now the managers player to bring off the bench to light the blue touch paper and explode into action. Against Newcastle he came on and within 5 minutes had kicked Newcastle bad boy Joey Barton in the shins then ran away to score a superb solo goal. The man is a danger to himself and a real danger to the opposition but you wouldn't half want him in your team. The Bolton defenders tired after 70 minutes of balloon bombardment will see Riccy coming off the bench with a dread usually associated with a continuous kick in the balls.
Midfielder: Dean Whitehead: The man will literally cover every blade of grass, even behind the line he'll make sure its covered. A real box to box player who I expect will be preparing for the game by running to training and back before he sleeps for 16 hours. If extra time is needed Deano will carry the team on his back.
Defender Danny Collins: A centre back who has had to play out of position his entire time at Stoke City will be a player who the manager can bring on to fill a gap. He is your usual man to call on when when you are a player missing at 5 a'side- he's always ready and will pay his £3 to help you out. Experience professional who will turn off the T.V to play for you.
Striker: John Carew: The experienced Norweigen on-loan from Aston Villa has played accross Europe in the Champions league and has played at Wembley so he is a very useful player to have on your bench. A great dressing room character who will make sure Kenny J will be on his game as the manager knows 'John Carew, Carew he's bigger than me and you, he'll get one or two, John Carew, Carew'
Defender: Abdoulaye Faye: Hardly been used this season due to Shawcross and Huth being exceptional but the human army Abdy will be there in both body and spirit as he is entering the twilight of his career, nothing will upset Johan Elmander more than this man looking into your eyes and into your soul as you break down in tears. A lovely man though!
Asmir Begovic (Goalkeeper) The regular number one in the league is proving to be the buy of buys as Chelsea tried unsuccessfully to sign him from the potters. Asmir puts club before country and I expect he will be right behind his mentor and friend Thomas Sorensen, the master and the apprentice united as one.
Defender/Left Back/ Midfielder/ Drinks Carrier/ Tea Boy: Danny Pugh
Every team needs a squad player and Pugh is several of those in one, an English Swiss army knife that can be used for anything. Extra Time could see Pugh used in any situation when everyone but Dean Whitehead get's a touch of cramp on that big Wembley pitch.
The Manager: Tony Pulis
The leader of the Rat pack, the leader of the Bash Street Kids and the leader of Stoke City as he twice got the potters by the scruff of the neck to save them firstly from relegation then lead them into the Premier League, keep them there and take them to Wembley. Anyone who boos this man should be ashamed of themselves. Points win prizes and Pulis is a man you take with you when you want results. Dont expect a pretty match but what you get is an entertaining mixture of grit and determination with a light topping of class Mr Fuller, Etherington and Pennant. Bolton you have been warned..
So this is how I think about the Stoke player's approach to the game, my thoughts on what type of people they could be. This is only a fictional blog but I think every single player will be aiming to win the game for fallen team-mates Danny Higginbotham and Mama Sidibe but most of all for the fans that idolise them week in week out.
C'MON YOU RIP ROARING POTTERS!!!!!
